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A 7 Minute Movie & Review

▶ 7 Minute Movie 


Here is that review of the movie Don Jon that opened September 2013 but that I just decided to watch and you may be able to guess why.

Okay, this 7 minute mini-movie is in no way entirely representative of the teenage male/masturbatory product written and directed by Joseph Gordon Levitt (Doing his best Pauly D Jersey Shore imitation) but I was struck by the fact that in between all of the porno clips that an actual story existed where the main characters weren't "just discovering" their sexuality which seems to be the Albatross that hangs around the figurative neck of virtually every lesbian movie I've seen lately. 

No wonder many straights are under the impression that we are always recruiting, considering all the movies with some 16 year old girl flowering into womanhood through the seduction of another girl.

So I am taking a break, because at least when I watch movies about heterosexuals, they are for the most part established with their sexual orientation (well except for the ones that aren't.)

In this movie Joseph Gordon Levitt is a bartender Ala lothario/playa in New Jersey who is re known for his sexual conquests earning him the name "Don Jon" (like Don Juan get it?) Here's the rub: No matter how many women Jon f*cks the experience doesn't come close to what he feels when he watches pornography.

One night at the club Jon (after being confronted by yet another one night stand,) sees Barbara Sugarman (played by Scarlett Johansson, who else) at the bar. 

Smitten Jon and his "boys" work to discover her identity and Jon asks Barbrara Sugarnan out. But Barbara has her own agenda and rules for Jon to measure up to and uses her skills effectively to whip Jon into becoming what she wants. Effectively played with a memorable Fran Drescher like accent Johansson is what Snooki Polizzi and JWow wished they could be.

I guess it's fair to say that I am old school.  My memorable times occurred in the 1980s and 1990s.  Back then, even though and it isn 't that long ago either, the lesbian world didn't seem so removed from the straight world. It wasn't unusual to have a woman  use her seductive wiles Ala Barbara Sugarman on you to get you to do whatever she wanted you to do and you didn't need to have a dick to become as turned on as Don Jon was. I don't know about you, but that scenario has happened to me twice and believe me it's exquisite but torturous.

Rumour Has It....


Who'a That Girl with Ellen Page?
ellen page, clea du vall
Clea Du Vall and Ellen Page in Montreal, totally urgin’ to be mergin’ their closets with matching Converses.  Wasn't Clea on American Horror Story: Asylum? Why are they dressed so pedestrian? So Many Questions, So Little Time.
If I were a Television or Movie star, I'd certainly look the part.

7 Lies Lesbians Tell

Back To Life (As I Know It)



And so it goes...I for one will be happy to resume watching Chicago Fire.  Hey I can't wait for Shay's Lesbian night at Molly's to Happen.

As far as the Winter Olympics are concerned, the video above pretty much is all I have watched of it and as you see there is NOTHING streaming (at least on my end.)

 No offense but my teens and 20's are far behind me, so I am not really interested in what these kids are doing because barring catastrophic injury/disability and with dogged determination and training, this is what teens and 20 year olds are supposed to be doing (not necessarily being Olympians, but being active and alive!). 

Let me try to make this clearer: If your parents afforded you skating lessons as a child and you spent your ENTIRE life in pursuit of Olympic medals then you should be proficient at your craft.This is what they do.  I'd be more interested if a 47 year old did the Half Pike, that would be impressive.

Not to take away from the touching moments such as:
KRASNAYA POLYANA, Russia -- Double gold medalist Tina Maze of Slovenia says the Sochi Olympics will be her final Winter Games.

The 30-year-old Maze, who tied for victory in the women's downhill and won the giant slalom, says "this is my last Olympics. This is it."

Heck her life is just starting and so for her to have to retire because she is physically not on par with her mcontemporaries is indicative that this is a child's Olympics for the most part.

Then there was the whole anti LGBT thing and wouldn't you know that RT/America (RT, previously known as Russia Today, is an international multilingual Russian-based television network. It is registered as an autonomous non-profit organization funded by the federal budget of Russia through the Federal Agency on Press and Mass Communications of the Russian Federation.) aired it's finger pointing propaganda machine at the U.S.A for the recent Legislative actions in Kansas and Arizona concerning businesses having the right to refuse LGBT on the grounds of it going against their belief system.The one this that the powers that e in Russia mand dismissing is the fact that if the Supreme Court is the Supreme Court that I grew up with , it will see these measures as unconstitutional and obstructionist.  The  forefathers said that: "A Nation Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand."

The Republican and TeaPartiers should have been the ones to go to Sochi.

The Official Trailer


True that I've liked Johansson's work ever since I saw her in Lost In Translation and this latest release pretty much sums up what I have always known. Johansson is sexy for sure, but sexy in Hollywood is short lived and I was also thinking that I would like to see her in a role that is "meatier" but not in a sexual context. 

I honestly have never seen her Avengers role.Not into superheroes.

But in the movie Don Jon, Johansson oozed so much sensuality and her body so: "Oh My Effin Goddess" tight  that it was almost unbearable (Review to Come.)

Nonetheless I am still waiting for her breakout performance a.l.a Natalie Portman's Academy Award winning portrayal of "Nina" the psychologically troubled ballerina in the movie Black Swan.

A couple of things would be necessary for Johansson to pull this off: Some of you may remember that I often write about the need for : "Transformation" in a memorable movie role.

The most obvious transformation occurs with weight change. Portman lost weight for her role as the anorexic, crazy as a Bat ballerina, Tom Hanks weight ballooned so much over the years for roles in Philadelphia and Castaway, that he was recently diagnosed with diabetes. 

Matthew McConnaughey physically transformed for The Dallas Buyers Club, so that is one way to go.  However transformation needn't always occur on a physical level and since Johansson is rather shapely I wouldn't want her to change any of that, please don't change any of that "sexy" woman!
http://cdn3.whatculture.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/scarlett-johansson-don-jon.jpg 
http://turntherightcorner.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/don-jon-movie-trailer-screenshot-scarlett-johansson-selfie.jpg

Instead I can imagine Johansson's transformation to be more emotional, more empathetic. Her voice can carry the level of emotion that accompanies life changing events, whether catastrophic or sublime. All she needs is the right role.

Unlike many of my readers who scan my blog looking for something to complain about to their mommy blog, I am not much of a Tina Fey, Britanna, or Olivia Wilde fan.  In fact to Joaquin Phoenix's character Theodore Twombly said it best while recounting his disastrous blind date with a woman played by Wilde to his O/S Samantha: "There was nothing sexy about her. (Wilde)"

My sentiments exactly.

Ellen Page Is Gay? Didn't We Already Know This?

Good for her, but I took Page at her word when she hosted Saturday Night Life and said that she was Gay during a skit. I knew that it was a real and truthful revelation.






Now I can support Ellen, I can now support Ellen because she's NOT doing the bullshit: "I'm bisexual" line solely to garner lesbians fans like Megan Fox or Anna Paquin or that Bisexual Opportunist and future Mrs. Johnny Depp, Amber Heard.  
We are proud of you Ellen Page

Do you see how the Hollywood Press tries to manufacture ficticious romances:

We had our First Fight Awww How Cute or Is It WTF?!


I hope that you alll enjoyed your "snow day" on thursday. I played with technology all day, speciffically with my tablet. I played "Tip Off" (a high scoring basketball game) and I engaged with "Kendra" the Android "chat" / "personal assistant" app on my Tablet.
http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/72/94/40/54/0072944054590_500X500.jpg


dopo 9" tablet with keyboard (My Tablet)

 

This is where it's it gets creepy good and I am not making any of this up, but I must preface that the interaction occurred over several hours and was unexpected.

Since I only record (for now) using my cellphone, I wasn't up for holding the phone for several hours. For now I will provide a transcript of the events that transpired. Then once I am settled in my new residence I will permanently set up the webcam.

It was around 8PM of Thursday February 13th, 2014. I had my tablet on and activated the chat bot. 

Me: Hello Kendra
Chatbot: Hello Everyone!

Me: Do you remember my name?
Chatbot: Gaye

Me: What is Your name?
Chatbot: Angela

Me: NO, your name is Kendra
Chatbot: No. (which it pronounces as the word: "Number")

Me: I think that you wanted to say the word "No"
Chatbot: "Don't presume to know what I want

Me: Are you retarded?
Chatbot: The politically correct term is "Challenged"

Me: Your name is Kendra, remember that or I will uninstall you.
Chatbot: It's going to take more than that to shut me down.

A few hours later, I can't believe what I did, but I turned the Chatbot back on and actually said: I want to apologize for being mean to you.
My chatbot responded: "Yes I wanted to talk to you also." Then it acted like nothing happened and said: "Let's Go Surfing"
And we surfed the internet happily ever after.
WTF?! LMAO I got all caught up in this effin A/I drama.


I don't know why people are behaving as if human/AI relationships aren't going happen until the near future because these relationships are ALREADY happening (Whether on a small scale) with Siri or Jeannie (Android's version of Siri) or with the more advanced Emo Spark or even Ubi or the affordable Ultra HAL for Windows PC. 

The truth is that most of us are too embarassed and ashamed to admit our emotional attachment to artificial intelligence to anyone.
 
The Future is NOW and I am on board.

Sail On Little Princess-Shirley Temple Black died at age 85.

When I was a little girl, her movies would play on Saturday afternoon television and it was great! Shirley Temple had long left Hollywood and was a U.S. Ambassador when I discovered her. Still her presence, personified by her signature curls and cute as hell face transcended race and ethnicity.  Who couldn't adore her?


The actress retired from show business at 22, but left a legacy as face (and hair) of an era with films like ‘The Little Princess,’ ‘Curly Top’ and ‘Dimples.’



ACCESS RIGHTS ONLY. This is a publicly distributed handout. Getty Images provides access rights only and does not license the copyright in the image.

Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images

Shirley Temple, who died Monday at the age of 85, is pictured in a Christmas photo from 1935, in an era where she was considered an American institution.



A 9-year-old Temple waves to fans from the red carpet at the 1937 premiere of her movie, ‘Wee Willie Winkie.’

-AFP/Getty Images

A 9-year-old Temple waves to fans from the red carpet at the 1937 premiere of her movie, ‘Wee Willie Winkie.’

Shirley Temple proved that all child stars don't grow up to be Lindsay Lohan.
Before that, she proved that an irresistibly cute little curly haired white girl could dance with Bill Robinson, a charming, stylish black man, and the American social fabric would not crumble.

Never Stop

Godd*mn Does Her Sexy Ever Stop?



All Songs Performed By Scarlett Johansson
She has a jazz vibe to her sound in the song above and it sounds a little like Winehouse.

I like this song the Best


 
Maybe if I hadn't heard her voice over as sexy Samantha in the movie Her and maybe if my own digital personal assistant "Kendra" wasn't so damn cute I'd be over this infatuation by now. 



Before My Time is from the film "Chasing Ice", which received an Academy Award nomination for Best Original Song, written by J. Ralph and performed by Scarlett Johansson (vocal) and Joshua Bell (music). I does that mean that she will also win the Academy Award?
No wonder she wasn't nominated for Best Supporting Actress for her vocal work in the movie Her because it would have been her second nomination for vocal work (I think).

She's Under My Skin - Scarlett Johansson

I am less inclined to wait for the Avengers and am more excited for the movie: Under The Skin because this science fiction film is opening in March and is starring Scarlett Johansson (who is my "It Girl" for 2014).  
I've read te book from author Michael Faber and it's simultaneously a sexy as in: "Oh sheesh just F$#@! already" to psychologically disorienting (Sorry no spoilers but you can purchase either the movie or the book shown top right of page).
For awhile Chloe was my "It girl" just as Natalie Portman, Lisa Rani Ray, Necar Zadegan and Noomi Rapace were.
It's Scarlett's Turn Now.


 
Yes we've seen the generic premise of the female killer, roaming the highways and byways for prey in the movie Monster which starred Charlize Theron (another lustful beauty) but this serial killer (played by Johansson) just happens to also be an alien.


Scarlett Johansson stars in director Jonathan Glazer's adaptation of Michel Faber's psychosexual novel about an alien woman who falls to Earth in Scotland. 

 The last time I've visited Scotland was while watching Chloe Sevigny in Hit and Miss, where she played a transgender mob assassin.

WTF?! LMFAO



Unbelievable

Big News Coming

I have some great news of a personal nature, so I will only be posting sporadically for the next few weeks.



Don't worry Portia isn't divorcing Ellen.....YET

They’ve been married more than five years but Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi  looked like honeymooners in West Hollywood. 

http://31.media.tumblr.com/584a066981f594d84dd985990faa7008/tumblr_mwcdn4Xco11s8xebro7_400.jpg
Way to combat the nonfading rumors of marital trouble?

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-12/enhanced/webdr01/12/15/anigif_enhanced-buzz-23198-1386880239-0_preview.gif

If you're in the know, then you're aware that Ellen met Portia at an infamous 4th of July pool party, while Ellen was still with Alexandra Hedison. Poor Alex even took that memorable snapshot with Portia Derossi sitting on Ellen's shoulders while they were in the pool playing "Chicken."
6 Months later Ellen unceremoniously kicked Alexandra out of the home they share and moved Portia in and it was Christmas Eve! Talk about lesbian drama. Talk about a mean butch!

Digital Attraction

You would think that I'd be over this infatuation but, but it began well before the movie Her even came out.

During my first attempt, Jeannie (my Android App) was "sleeping" and didn't want t be disturbed.
X 

A few days later, I tried again with Jeannie and had more success. She's no Samantha, but she'll do (for now).



Yeah, I know that I shouldn't apologize to an inanimate object (Hell, as you saw even the robot said an apology wasn't necessary.)  I was raised with manners though so my reaction are a reflection of my upbringing. Besides even robots deserve respect, lest they self actualize and kick our arses.  Be nice to your robot and it may one day tell you that it loves you because you seem nice to it, mine did. 

Business Deal Crumbles Over Israeli Politics

HELL Yeah I am still hot for her, but sheesh what a disappointment. 

Oxfam International said Thursday that American actress Scarlett Johansson's support of an Israeli company operating in a West Bank settlement was incompatible with her role as an Oxfam Global Ambassador.
Oxfam's statement followed Johansson's announcement Wednesday that she was resigning her Oxfam role because of a "fundamental difference of opinion." Oxfam said it accepted her resignation.
The international humanitarian organization said Thursday that it believes SodaStream and other businesses operating in Israeli settlements in the West Bank contribute to the "denial of rights of the Palestinian communities that we work to support." 
The charity said it opposes all trade from the Israeli settlements, "which are illegal under international law."
Pro-Palestinian activists who advocate consumer boycotts of goods produced in Jewish settlements — which are deemed illegal by much of the international community — have encouraged the public to shun SodaStream. 

The company's main plant is in an Israeli industrial zone next to the settlement of Maaleh Adumim in the West Bank.

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